It's the Little Things...

A couple of nights ago I sat on the end of my bed and folded a couple batches of laundry. Actually, most of it I just put on hangers and handed to my husband to hang up. I only had to actually fold perhaps five items. Doesn't sound terribly difficult, does it? I didn't think it did, either. Yet halfway through the first batch, I found myself short of breath, and having to take breaks to rest my arms. By the time I finished those two batches of laundry, I was exhausted.

I spend most of my day sitting in a recliner, with my feet up. I browse the web, read books, watch movies, and do various crafts. I also try to guide my children as they do their various activities. I am able to provide plenty of love, snuggling, hugs, etc. But I am not able to stand at the kitchen counter and prepare a meal (I am barely able to fix a single sandwich!). Going downstairs to put in a load of laundry is out of the question, as is bringing that load back upstairs. I can fold it, but can't actually put it away, but then I need a rest afterwards. If a child (or pet) spills something on the floor, I can't clean it up.

Thankfully, I have a willing husband and somewhat-willing children to take up some of the slack. But honestly? My husband is stressed as it is, what with dealing with a disabled wife (and two disabled children), and two part-time jobs (while looking for more work). Add on taking care of the finances (which I used to do, but find it increasingly difficult, what with memory loss), doing laundry for me, our 6yo, and himself (the rest of the kids are responsible for doing their own laundry), yard work, auto maintenance, and church responsibilities, and he's stretched pretty thin. The kids can do quite a bit, but the two that are old enough to really do things well have their own issues. The oldest is a college student, and will be moving out in a few months. She helps as much as she can, but that isn't always enough. The next oldest, at age 17, has rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. She is not able to do much more than I am.

Frankly, I wish we could afford a maid, or at least someone to come in and do a thorough cleaning and organization (as well as massive decluttering!) of my house. Perhaps then it wouldn't be quite so difficult for the kids & my husband to manage. But who knows - it wouldn't get rid of the problem of my disability. Nevertheless, I still have frequent fantasies of "Clean Sweep" coming in and doing a sweep of my whole house! A girl can dream, can't she?

All that said, though, and it comes down to this: with all my problems and frustrations, I am grateful that I have a home (even though it's messy), a husband who loves me (and is willing to help, despite the stress), and children who really try. That's all I really need, after all.